Are you ready for this? Can you stomach the truth? If things continue spiraling madly out of control as they are right now, there’s at least a modicum of a chance that your children or grandchildren will greet a lifelike robot when sashaying in for the first day of kindergarten. Horrifying, we know. A new research effort published in this month’s Science outlines new ways in which humanoids could actually be used to instruct our little ones. At the core of the project is imitation; humans, especially young ones, learn a multitude of mannerisms and such by simply watching others. Thus, it stands to reason that robots are “well-suited to imitate us, learn from us, socialize with us and eventually teach us.” Already, these social bots are being used on an experimental basis to teach various skills to preschool children, “including the names of colors, new vocabulary words and simple songs.” Just think — in 2071, those harmless lessons will morph into studies of subterfuge, insurrection and rapacity.

Researchers have long turned to insects for a little inspiration when creating robots, but things have entered a terrifying new dimension this week, with two separate groups each finding new ways to meld bug and machine. The further along of the pair is a group of scientists from Tokyo University’s Research Center for Advanced Science and Technology, who have not only used a live silkmoth to control a toy car, but severed the head of a moth and wired it into the vehicle pictured above (look closely). By directing stimuli to the moth’s still-functioning antennae, the researchers were able to record the motor commands issued by the brain’s nerve cells and, in turn, control the vehicle — which, in addition to totally freaking people out, allows them to study and record data on how neurons respond to stimulus.

Slightly less far along on the road to bug armageddon is Pentagon contractor OpCoast, which is working on some full on “cyborg crickets” that behave like the real thing but have the added benefit of being able to form a mobile communications network in an emergency situation. That network, the company says, could eventually consist of hundreds or thousands of the crickets which, like real crickets, would communicate with each other through wing beats, and even be able to vary their “call tone” when they detect the presence of chemical or biological agents, or potentially even the scent of a person trapped in rubble.

By now, you’re no doubt well acquainted with the Albert Hubo Einstein robot developed by the mad scientists at KAIST, but some researchers at the University of California, San Diego has also been working on their own Einstein bot for the past little while, and they’ve now managed to teach it some new tricks. While the bot has previously been able to display a full range of expressions through some pre-programmed facial movements, it’s now able to teach itself how to smile or display other emotions thanks to a new trial-and-error technique dubbed “body babble.” That apparently works by comparing Einstein’s attempts at an expression with some facial recognition software, which provides Al with some positive feedback each time he manages an actual expression. Did we mention there’s a video? Check it out after the break.

Now, we’ve never been to this “Hall of Presidents” at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida (our parents instead taking us to real, disused dungeons and battlefields for family entertainment), but we’re thinking about heading down there today — not because the newest animatronic addition — President Barack Obama — has just been unveiled, but because his likeness is so… unlike him, so incredibly, terrifyingly creepy (and yet still impressive all the same). Yes, we’ll pop all of our closest friends’ children into the van and take a fantastic voyage down to the southern tip of our great nation just to see their reactions to this horrifying robotic educational presentation. What better way to celebrate our nation’s independence? Come to think of it… maybe our parents weren’t so bad after all. Videos of Obamatron and of the President himself recording audio for it after the break.

Perhaps our Future Robot Overlords™ aren’t planning on decimating the human population after they take over — they might have a good reason to retain a handful of bipedal hominidae. Who knows, really? But we’re betting that if they do, the lucky slave population is going to want to hear some bed-time stories from time to time. To that end, Japanese researchers have developed Ninomiya-kun, a 3.2-foot tall aluminum-framed robot capable of reading aloud from printed material. Developed at Waseda University and recently unveiled at a trade fair in Kitakyushu, the bad boy uses cameras to “read” the text, which it parses with OCR software before synthesizing its voice. As far as we can tell, this thing still sounds like a machine, and it’s vocabulary is somewhat limited (it can currently recognize over 2,000 kanji, hiragana and katakana characters), but researchers are working on a more lifelike voice and a broader vocabulary. After that, the developers would like to unload this thing on elementary schools and old folks homes, whose population won’t find this thing creepy or disconcerting at all, at all. We’re sure of it. Peep the video after the break.